Intentional Living and Understanding Stress Hormones

The information I’m sharing with you in these blog posts are some of the key practices and knowledge that have literally turned our family’s life around.

​We’ve learned that it’s not just about handling challenges—it’s about being intentional in every aspect of life. We actively make the choice to balance facing our struggles with staying focused on where we want to go. Our determination to continue growing and making conscious choices is what keeps us moving forward, building a family that is resilient, loving, and connected. But we must understand the forces driving each of us, in order to do this.

And here is one big element playing a part in family dynamics that generally goes UNNOTICED!

Oxytocin and Cortisol: How They Affect Us Differently

You’ve probably heard of oxytocin being called the “love hormone,” and for good reason. It’s released during moments of bonding, like hugging your child or spending time with loved ones.

Oxytocin is especially calming for women—it reduces cortisol, our body’s primary stress hormone, which can protect us from the negative effects of chronic stress. This natural calming effect is why nurturing activities, like cuddling your child or even engaging in deep conversations, can feel so rewarding and soothing. Research shows that oxytocin encourages trust, bonding, and social connections, making it an essential hormone for emotional well-being.

But did you know that oxytocin works differently in men?

While it still plays a role in bonding, men experience a different physiological reaction. When men have a surge of oxytocin, it can actually cause their cortisol levels to increase, leading to feelings of stress and anxiety. This is because oxytocin in men can amplify the fight-or-flight response, triggering a more intense stress reaction. Understanding these differences helps us appreciate why stress management strategies need to be tailored to each individual’s biology.

Testosterone’s Role in Managing Stress

Testosterone also plays a significant role in stress regulation, especially for men. Activities that boost testosterone—such as exercise, competitive play, or even moments of personal achievement—help lower cortisol and improve mood. Studies have shown that testosterone reduces the impact of stress on the brain, acting almost as a buffer against cortisol’s effects. Taking breaks or enjoying solo time are also important ways for men to restore balance, as these activities can promote testosterone production and naturally lower cortisol levels.

For women, the interaction between testosterone and cortisol is more complex and varies depending on the menstrual cycle. During the follicular phase, when estrogen is higher, increased testosterone tends to lower cortisol and help manage stress. However, during the luteal phase, when progesterone levels are elevated, women may become more sensitive to stress, and testosterone can sometimes contribute to a cortisol spike, resulting in heightened anxiety or tension. This cycle awareness is critical for creating effective stress management routines that align with hormonal shifts. (More on understanding your menstrual cycle in upcoming blogs).

Why This Knowledge is Critical to Caring for Ourselves—and Our Children

Understanding how oxytocin, cortisol, and testosterone interact in our bodies isn’t just about managing stress—it’s essential for our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. When we take the time to manage our stress levels, we not only improve our health, but we also show up as better parents. Stress is contagious, and when we’re overwhelmed, it’s easy to unintentionally project that onto our children, whether through impatience, irritability, or emotional withdrawal.

Studies have shown that children are deeply affected by their parents' emotional states, particularly in early childhood when they are learning how to regulate their own emotions. Consistently high levels of parental stress can negatively impact a child’s emotional development and long-term mental health. By keeping our own stress in check, we are modeling healthy emotional regulation for our children, teaching them resilience, patience, and the ability to manage challenges with grace.

What You Can Do Today

Here are a few actionable steps you can take to help balance stress hormones for both yourself and your family:

1. Create a "Reset Moment": Whether it's a few minutes of deep breathing, a walk in nature, or a quiet moment with a cup of tea, find a daily pause that helps you lower cortisol levels. Encourage calling a "Time Out" for parents when one or both parents can take turns getting a 10 minute lay down session when stress builds.

2. Incorporate Physical Activity: Activities like a family dance session or outdoor play can boost testosterone for both you and your partner, which helps buffer against stress. Men need to find a healthy outlet for iintentional competition and physical endurance such as the gym, golfing, running, etc.

3. Bonding Time: Simple bonding activities like hugs, reading together, or playful interactions can trigger oxytocin for everyone, promoting feelings of safety and connection. For women, this could also look like finding a friend or perhaps your mother to connect with through conversation, and prioritizing this time everyday.

4. Cycle Awareness: If you’re a woman, track your menstrual cycle to recognize when you may be more sensitive to stress, and adjust your activities or self-care routines accordingly. Inform EVERYONE in the household of where you are at on your cycle. This can be liberating once you all understand the impact of your cycle on your mental state and ability to accomplish various activities (more about this in an upcoming blog.)

   
   

By making these small adjustments, you’re not only improving your own stress management but also teaching your children healthy habits for emotional regulation. Balance and intentionality start with us, and the ripple effects are powerful.

Ready to Dive Deeper?

If you found this information helpful, stay tuned for more! In upcoming posts, I’ll share how you can use this knowledge to develop family routines that honor each person’s unique hormonal needs and help everyone show up as their best selves. Let’s continue this journey of intentional living together.

With love and light, until next time! 🌸💛

Please remember, while I love sharing these insights and tips, I’m not a medical professional. Everything here is meant to inspire and inform, but always check in with your healthcare provider before making any changes to your wellness routine. Your well-being comes first! ✨

-Tabbie Damm

Joy Journeys